Lacrimosa.

Frustrated? Yes. Why? Because it is impossible for me to be God- or the universal man and woman- or anything much. I am what I feel and think and do. I want to express my being as fully as I can because I somewhere picked up the idea that I could justify myself being alive that way. But if I am to express what I am, I must have a standard of life, a jumping off place, a technique- to make arbitrary and temporary organization of my own personal and pathetic little chaos. I am just beginning to realize how false and provincial the standard must be. That is what is so hard for me to face.