People will say things, and then later on it becomes apparent that they didn't mean what they said. Or, more accurately, perhaps they simply said those words or made an agreement and then they don't know what to do about it. I don't really know. I have a very limited understanding of social etiquette. I have questions, and refuse to ask them, because I honestly don't know if my questions are bothersome or even completely unwarranted.
It has become clear to me that whatever issues I have been trying to work out will have to be made clear to a professional. Although I know what my three biggest obstacles are, and I know the main one is untreatable, there has to be something I can do to make this all easier. I can't keep over thinking scenarios, and drawing conclusions that aren't built on solid evidence. I can't yo-yo between yes and no anymore. It's either yes, this is the way it is, or no, I am mistaken. And with the way my mind weaves elaborate tapestries to outline everything, it is impossible for me to stop and simply exist.
Everyone knows that the world is confusing and paradoxical, and that some things will never be made clear. But most people can know this, accept it to some extent, and move on. I, on the other hand, cannot stop my mind from constantly thinking and dissecting these things on a quest for truth and understanding. I need a happy medium, for I am not a philosopher, and I am not beyond hope.
What the hell has allowed me to start thinking that I am somehow burdened more than anyone else in this dilemma of existence? We're all on the same path, enduring the same inane actions and processes. So thankfully, I think I've reached the point that I can willingly stop.
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